TIFU by not saying no to morphine.

2022.01.16 06:30 TheLea85 TIFU by not saying no to morphine.

This didn't happen today, this happened about 16 years ago.
I had managed to get a pain in my lower back after projectile vomiting at the end of a very excessive Friday night out. I ran full speed to the toilet and kinda whiplashed myself over the bowl. Stupid young me for drinking that much and putting me in that situation, but It'll pass, I thought. Just a pulled muscle.
At day three of non-fading annoying pain I started peeing blood. "This isn't a torn muscle then" I thought to myself while calling a cab to the ER.
ER Doctor takes notes and looks at my back and says that it's a bit swollen and warm "so maybe you did pull your back, but that doesn't explain the bloody urine" and says he'll send me to get a CT scan before he does anything else.
ER nurse carts me off to the radiology department after only a few hours.
ER Doctor comes back very fast (In ER time standards) to inform me that my left kidney has ruptured because of a large kidney stone that had mauled itself to freedom.
And here comes the fuck up.
I'm sent to a ward to await a decision on what they were going to do about the whole situation, and the very first thing the nurse does when she first comes in to my room is to wave a syringe of morphine at me and say "For the pain, the doctor wrote it in his notes". I hadn't actually said I was in pain, I had just said something like "It hurts when I turn myself to the left" while being very calm and not screaming in agony. Two thoughts pass through my mind at the same time, and "well I'm not about to spend several days in a hospital without books or anything to keep me occupied sober" won out.
Get stone removed from my internals before it tries to maul my urethra as well, am fine, kidneys heal well on their own apparently. Spent a few days after that under observation since the doc didn't want me to move around, plus he seemed to be one of those that got curious when something rare happened.
Six days later I go home with two (or maybe three, it's fuzzy) subcutaneous morphine injections per day in my baggage.
One day later I start thinking "hey wait, when was the last time I had a dump? I ate loads of food at the hospital...", then I remembered what morphine does to your stomach.
8 or 9 days after my last remembered dump I'm sitting on the toilet with tears running down my face trying to pass a log the size of my lower arm. I'm very unsuccessful.
I had a pharmacy nearby, and since I was in zero danger of soiling myself I hobbled over and bought a pack of those laxative suppositories. Before I had put my item on the counter the cashier looks at me and asks "Are you okay, are you in pain?". I put the laxatives on the counter with an anguished smile and she goes "Oh" and kinda giggles.
"Softens your stool" was a lie, all it achieved was for me to be unable to stop pushing. I end up smearing vaseline around and inside the relevant area, grabbing a teaspoon and shoving it up my Suez canal and into Everbrown to act as a handle to pull it out and spare myself the continued agony. Over the past 30 minutes I had managed to get about 30% of the extra elasticity required to accommodate the undocking, but I was tired of the situation and just wanted it to be over before I had an aneurysm. I start pulling and my eyes start bulging.
Out comes a ship full of pain followed by a wookie howl and a sensation of falling.
I wake up on the bathroom floor and realise that I had passed out, but I could feel that the situation had resolved. I spent a solid minute unmoving with my pants around my ankles and bare ass pointed up before I noticed the blood pooling on my cheek. Turns out I hit my forehead on the sink on my way down.
Straight back to the ER to get that fixed, and I managed to get the same cab driver who took me to the ER just about a week earlier. He had to drive extra slow at the end because he was laughing so hard when I told him the story from start to finish. And to be honest I was laughing as well at that point.
According to the doc I did likely pull my back, it just masked the pain when I vomited so forcefully that the kidneystone was set loose on me.
16 years later all I have is a faint scar on my forehead and the perhaps imagined talent of passing larger than average loads without much effort.
TL;DR Young partying me didn't pass on unnecessary morphine when put in hospital, setting me up for a constipation that split my forehead open.
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2022.01.16 06:30 Berenthegrizzly a beautiful snow leopard

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2022.01.16 06:30 kaichanredditiro hello jesu!!!!

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2022.01.16 06:30 dahitesh What was the one thing you desperately want to tell your partner but cannot?

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2022.01.16 06:30 vgracanin They are getting better with the overall scam design

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2022.01.16 06:30 Humor_Tumor Why isn't the training area available from the start? (Rise)

I just don't understand why I gotta do stuff first, just let me try out my weapons without jumping through 30 hoops and dumb little quests. I'll google it at some point but I genuinely can't think of a good reason to not have it available immediately to the player.
Unga bunga smash monster with hammer. Rant over.
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2022.01.16 06:30 tateofficial Stay or go?

I’m currently a certified tech at Walmart and have been there since September. A local independent pharmacy has a tech opening and I’m wondering if I should apply there? It’s way closer to me and closed on Sundays (bless), but the hours are limited and I’m in school fulltime. I’m planning on doing a summer intership as well, which won’t allow time for another job so I’ll have to be on leave or quit in a few months either way. Kinda torn about what to do :/
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2022.01.16 06:30 Vetom03 Corrupt Disk

Hello guys,
Hope you are doing great !
I got a little issue with dota, I can't update it, I always get that disk corrupt error. I tried to re-install it, nothing changed so I thought the problem cames from my disk but every other game of steam updates and can be installed without any problem ...
I think my PC trys to tell me something...
If you have any idea, any advice on how I can avoid that disk corrupt, it'd be great.
Have a nice day all
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2022.01.16 06:30 Natural-Watch champ select missing champ select

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2022.01.16 06:30 SwordoArta Asoko de Hataraku Musubu-san (Chapter 48)

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2022.01.16 06:30 bustergaming777 I love the Crash games so much but Crash 4 just upsets me

I grew up playing the OG games and a huge part of the fun was the replay aspect of the game, going through collecting hidden items and to 105% it but Crash 4 just felt tedious and frustrating. A hidden box here or there is always clever but when it’s nearly every other level combining the fact levels are so bloody long it just becomes a burden. I completed the game normally and unfortunately have no desire to fully complete it at all and I hope the next game learns from the feedback of this one.
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2022.01.16 06:30 _johndriver thinking about making commentary videos. go check it out for me and lmk what you think

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2022.01.16 06:30 ZoobBot 200757

This is the 200757th time I made this shitty comment. I hate this job.
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2022.01.16 06:30 LOZLover90 Advice for the man who wants excitement in his sex life:

Try "Rodeo Screwing".
Mount your wife from behind, whisper "This is how I do it with you sister", and try to stay on for eight seconds.
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2022.01.16 06:30 Virama This cracked me up.

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2022.01.16 06:30 Maleficent_Sun_2862 Possibly covid positive, past 2 tests were negative. Temp has been between 36c and 37.7c. Had a sore throat but it's gone, parents have covid but have had it for a week now. Should I continue working out?

Age - 17, Height 5'7, Weight 65kg, smoke weed regularly and tobacco. Parents say we have a history of heart issues but I've never had any heart issues personally. I'm really eager to workout again but I just dont wanna fuck up my health if I do have covid.
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2022.01.16 06:30 96285017482 My hand.

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2022.01.16 06:30 bobbyUP-MKII Abi Fox

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2022.01.16 06:30 Mr__Fe Hair thinning after starting the daily lymphatic baths?

Any advice or info otherwise?
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2022.01.16 06:30 kpark1996 Laptop power jack no longer works

I've tried multiple power chargers but the jack no longer works. 100% sure it's the jack. How much should I expect to pay to have it fixed?
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2022.01.16 06:30 laurensmiithy No it’s true.

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2022.01.16 06:30 Space_JesusKenobi Testing a new template. You like?

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2022.01.16 06:30 ZedropulseYT Season 4 Ending !SPOILERS!

If you haven’t seen the ending of season 3 please quit reading this contains serious spoilers.
I am absolutely astonished by the ending to season 3, I watched all the movies and whizzed through seasons 1 and 2 and thoroughly enjoyed all of it.
I just finished season three and was thrown into a whirlwind of emotions, especially towards John Kreese. I hated him with a passion throughout the movies and the first 2 seasons, I watched him try and force Johnny Lawrence into fighting dirty and watched as he tried to choke him out in the second movie. Mr. Miyagi of course, saved the day and then I witnessed him and Terry Silver try to break Daniel Larusso into using aggression and lose his Miyagi Do way. Then I watched him come back and take over Cobra Kai from Johnny and train the students to become merciless a**holes. Then in season 3 I began to sympathize with him and actually began rooting for him for developing morals (or finally emerging them). I just found it absolutely shocking after Cobra Kai won legitimately and Tory was apologizing to Sam. Just to see Terry Silver paid the referee and had John arrested. I was very pleased to see that John was in fact not 100% terrible and I am super excited for season 4 to see John possibly team up with Daniel and Johnny (Assuming he gets out of prison of course). Was also very happy to see Johnny and Robby finally connect and was happy Robby finally got back to some sort of positivity with Johnny and hopefully with Larusso again in the near future.
Just thought I’d share my thoughts on the ending, and hear your opinions on it too!
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2022.01.16 06:30 Endermonke SQAD GAM!!!!!!!!

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2022.01.16 06:30 Bambukepp1 M/34, realized I'm ace, but why do I sometimes feel like I'm a "fake"?

Sorry, this is going to be a long one, but I feel some background is needed, plus I'm just coming out so opening up to you guys feels good tbh :)
Last year I finally had the blindfold lifted by stumbling across an ace meme or a thread (can't remember what it was exactly that made it click for me). My first relationship lasted for 10 years, and if I remember correctly I initiated sex at first (we were teenagers when we started dating), but as I grew older I became more and more sex averse, to the point she needed to always initiate sex and we only used to do it once or twice a month and it never bothered me. Surprising no one she finally left me 6 years ago, and that was absolutely the correct decision because she was allo and not happy with the relationship.
Since then I've only once hooked up with a rando from a bar, and that's because I was super drunk and she practically had to drag me to her place. Physically I enjoyed the act (it still is the wildest night I've had to this day), but the day after when she texted me and straight up asked If I would like a fuck-buddy thing going on I made some shit up and rejected that.
I consider myself to be a decent looking guy and get advances fairly often, yet I reject every single one. The few times I've had sex with an acquaintance I always enjoyed giving pleasure more than receiving it.
And despite all of these signs I never understood that I'm not like most people. Discovering I'm on the ace spectrum was mind blowing. Knowing that allos think about sex so often is mind boggling, I honestly always thought all the sex talk was just a joke, a thing people copied from movies. Apparently not.
Here comes the real question for me:
I've now become very comfortable with the fact that relationships are probably not for me and that I'm somewhere in the grey/demi section probably. Why then, do I question myself from time to time? I have these thoughts that maybe I'm just a straight allo guy but my testosterone levels must be low? Am I just a confused guy faking it under the ace umbrella because I'm a coward with the opposite sex? I know deep down that these thoughts are not true, and probably not healthy either. I love that I discovered this community because it makes me feel heard and "real", that no, I am not faking it, I have always been like this.
Do you guys relate to this? And if so, any words of advice to how to get rid of these annoying thoughts?
Much love to you guys, happy to be here :)
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